crap its starting

that time of the semester when i start to get really overwhelmed and frustrated with everything. some of it is to be expected, of course. i'm not taking 100 level courses anymore. my grade isn't based off my ability to memorize a bunch of shit and purge it out onto a test the next day. those were the days.

now i have to put thought and consideration into my work. what's with that?

and the fact that i'm graduating in may.. well.. that pretty much intensifies any feelings of anxiety slash laziness that i have towards my classes. what if i dont graduate? what if i fail a class? why do i choose to be a waitress so i have to deal with and cater to everyone's precious needs in my free time? these are the questions i ask myself everyday.

i've taken the liberty of writing down all of my upcoming assignments on my calendar. all i had to do was look up and there it was staring me in the face, responsibility that i'm forced to take. i mean, if i wanna graduate.
i threw my calendar away.

then i took it out of the trash. this isn't a good sign. if i can't make the simple desicion to hang a fucking calendar or not, how am i gonna make it in the real world? the 'real world'.

i went to a poetry reading the other day. juan felipe herrera. he said that one of the reasons that mexicans cant cross the border is because they have visions, not televisions. and damnit! i'm gonna have a mexican attitude. i mean, i already kinda do. i do everything slow. walk. talk. think. and i'm a big fan of mexican showers. why not have a mexican vision? no. not the blurred vision. like you read on those ridiculous shirts. one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!!! but a vision of graduation. sure, right now my calendar of assignments is hindering my vision. but its the thought that counts, right? right.

until then, here's something quite relatable i found on college humor:

10 Differences Between School and Hell


1. It doesn't rain in Hell.

2. Everyone has heard of Hell.

3. It's more fun getting into Hell.

4. You can't fail out of Hell.

5. At least you can sleep in Hell.

6. Hell is forever, school just seems like it.

7. People smile in Hell.

8. You only have to sell your soul to get into Hell.

9. You know there are hot men in Hell.

10. You wouldn't tell a friend to go to school.

.

ya HIIIIIIIIIIIIII.

i predict ohio state.

byeeeeeeeeee.